


Seeing's not believing

by RedRaidingHood



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 09:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2543261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRaidingHood/pseuds/RedRaidingHood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico is a doctor, working at the very same hospital Jason lies in an expensive, single-bed room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing's not believing

Nico had painted the ceiling above his bed a shade of robin’s-egg blue and hung a plethora of little, tiny glow-in-the-dark stars on it about a month ago. They gleamed and glinted in the dark room, illuminating the ceiling more than anything. Nico stared at them, but his thoughts went nowhere.  
Will had sent him home early; some time around noon and he’d come home and lain on the bed, staring at the stars while it got darker outside and their light began to brighten.

It had been a long day.

Nico finally closed his eyes.

 

The morning traffic was always horrible, so Nico would habitually stuck his nose in the wonderful cup of coffee they sold at the station. He’d thank any deity that would listen for the wonderful shop that opened just early enough for him to buy some before heading off to work; the smell having the additional advantage of overpowering the stink of the subway and giving Nico’s mind the time to revel in it before it had to get up and going, working for hours until his shift at the hospital ended.

Only today, Nico hadn’t heard his alarm and thus was running to get his train, nearly spilling his precious beverage and cramming into the full subway just before the doors closed behind him with a shrill beeping sound. The other passengers didn’t even look at him, grumbling a little but either too sleepy themselves or just plain disinterested. Nico took a sip, embarrassment burning on his cheeks although the anonymity of the big city didn’t make it necessary. No one cared.

He braced himself against the closed doors, cradling the hot beverage against his lips. Nico was a doctor, he should’ve been able to be on time and catch his train and Will would so laugh at him and Piper would see it as another reason to baby him and conspire with her fellow nurses and the gynaecologist and really, being late was anything but what he needed right now.

He took another sip. At least this would hopefully give them another topic to gossip about than Jason Grace. One could only hope.

The next station came up and Nico moved to let some passengers pass him, exiting the subway on their merry way to wherever they needed to be this early in the morning. He looked around for a newly freed seat, but the only one he spotted was almost immediately occupied by a wary looking woman with a happy child. Nico had no idea how the little girl could be that happy in the morning, but she probably didn’t need coffee to wake up. He envied her.

Slowly, the stations dragged by and Nico nearly missed his stop, too engrossed with waking up fully. When he finally got through he doors of the hospital, slipping behind the backs of his colleagues to avoid being ridiculed, he was half an hour too late and his coffee was gone. Piper still smiled at him when he walked up to her workplace, leaning on the counter and sighing heavily. She stood, not saying a word and pouring him another cup of coffee. Not the shitty cafeteria-one, rather the good kind she brought from home in a canteen. Nico was eternally thankful for her coffee too.

“Thanks,” he rasped and took the slowly warming cup. “Tell me it’s a slow day and I won’t have to safe any lives today.”

“You’re always saving lives.” The nurse chuckled, obviously suppressing the urge to ruffle his hair, making Nico doubt the memory of brushing it this morning. “Today, you’re lucky, champ, it’s mostly routine. At least until the next emergency comes in of course.” She leaned on the counter next to him, laying her cheek on the smooth surface. “Grace did already ask for you though.”

Nico jumped, blushing a little. “He did?” A sinking feeling in his stomach warned him not to be too happy about that. Jason Grace was a patient of his and although they got along really well, Jason asking for his doctor didn’t have to mean anything but, well, a patient asking for his doctor.

“He did,” Piper confirmed smugly.

Nico looked at the ceiling, anywhere but his friend’s face. He really shouldn’t take that bait. “I should be doing my rounds now.”

“Yeah, you should.”

He could feel her smirk as much as it was physically possible, but he didn’t indulge her further. The situation was ridiculous enough as it was. Pushing himself off the counter and taking the cup with him, Nico finally started his morning routine almost an hour late.

 

Nico liked Will Solace. He really did, just some times, the other doctor was a bit… overbearing. Will put an arm around Nico’s shoulders and squeezed affectionately. “Oh, look who’s gracing us with his presence!”

Nico smiled shrugging and crossed his arms in front of his chest, trying to ignore the sudden warmth against his side where Will had plastered himself.

“Didn’t get out of bed today? The last days were kind of hard on all of us, don’t worry. Trevor’s still dressed in his pyjamas.”

“They’re not my pyjamas,” the nurse grumbled, stuffing his face with mashed potatoes.

Will lead Nico to the table, sitting him down across from Trevor - who was in fact just wearing the usual hospital scrubs - and reached for his wallet. “You’re getting salad Friday’s don’t you?”

Nico nodded and patted his pants for his own money, but Will waved him off. “It’s on me.” It was pretty often these days. “And you’re getting dessert,” the doctor grinned and left his friends to get the food.

Trevor didn’t stop eating and rolled his eyes. “He’s pretty obvious.”

“He is.” Nico couldn’t argue with that. But he still didn’t really want to think about it. He wasn’t sure he’d like what he concluded once he gave Will’s actions more than just a fleeting thought. He would probably be over-analyzing his behaviour anyway.

“You’re gonna do something ‘bout it?” Trevor’s gaze lingered only a moment on Nico, settling back on his food quickly.

“Gonna do something about what?” He glared at the nurse which always seemed to shut him up. Nico had just opened his mouth to give Trevor something to think about other than Will Solace, when his pager gave off a shrill sound. The day had been too slow anyway.

Nico jumped out of his seat, almost crashing into Will who’d shoved his tray on another table in a hurry to get to the ER. They shared a quick look, anxiousness visible in both of them, and then they started running.

Will was a great doctor, he was diligent and always kept his cool. Nico didn’t mind assisting him, although them being equals. Will could shove his emotions to the side, could yell at the nurses and didn’t seem to want to puke the moment the smell of the ER got to them. The woman on the table looked bad, her face a horrible contrast of red and white, and the smell already told them the cut along her stomach had ruptured her bowels.

Will was taking over from the emergency doctor quickly, while Nico stepped back. He wasn’t needed here, but the overwhelming feeling made him stay. He already knew the outcome, but he wouldn’t stop Will from trying. Wouldn’t stop this idealist from trying to save a dead woman.

It wasn’t like he could have explained his knowledge either. When he’d looked at her, he’d just known. She was dying. She had been so happy today, finally seeing her daughter after a month and they’d go shopping together and get some ice cream. She had been so happy; her girl had run away from home, but then, this morning, she just stood in the door, smiling sheepishly and all she had been able to do was hug her girl as tight as possible. It was just like her birth, it had hurt, but it was so, so worth the pain. Even when the men had come and had screamed at her girl and they’d drawn their knives and even then, it had been worth the pain as long as her girl was safe. She turned her head, looking at the young doctor with the dark eyes. She needed to know whether her girl was safe. He was a doctor, he had to know. Was her girl safe? Was she in pain?

Nico’s breath hitched, not being able to look away from those piercing eyes. Her gaze was intense, not dulling the slightest in her death. She didn’t regret dying. She didn’t have anything to regret, as long as her girl was safe. But Nico didn’t have an answer for her. He didn’t know about her girl. The sour lump refused to leave his throat, the mother’s eyes still on him when her body stilled. He didn’t hear Will’s curses, didn’t see the nurses balling their fists and the room resigning.

Her eyes didn’t leave his.

_Is my girl okay?_

Nico let out a rattling breath. He’d felt the woman die. Felt the surge when life left her, his own body feeling empty, depleted in empathy. Ever since his childhood, since he’d felt his dog slowly dying and nobody believed him, ever since then, he’d known he could feel death. Could feel that precious energy leaving its vessel. It still affected him every time. This talent of his had made him study medicine, made him fight every day against it, made him try and struggle and work as hard as he could to stop it, to keep the precious lives of all those wondrous beings around him intact and safe. And yet, he still had to feel it and win.

Gritting his teeth, he refused to acknowledge the hustle around him, acknowledge Will stating the time and cause of death, acknowledge losing against this feeling again. He’d known she would die and still he hadn’t stopped Will, a tiny part of him hoping the other could do what Nico couldn’t, hoping Will, this prodigious doctor, this wonderful, idealistic man, could defeat death. Could prove Nico wrong. Could prove this feeling to be noting but an arbitrary, pessimistic part of his mind.

He hadn’t.

Nico closed his eyes, his whole body drawing him to the man who didn’t understand but believed. To the man he shouldn’t be drawn to, the one he really shouldn’t feel anything for. But did nevertheless.

 

Jason Grace had the debatable luck of having been born into a wealthy family and the money providing him with a single-bed room at the hospital. Still, no money his family owned, could alter the stupid TV-program. He threw the remote on his blanket, groaning. Today was even more boring than yesterday. Yesterday, Leo had come to visit him at least, but today… Not even his doctor had shown up yet and that normally was the highlight of his day. Not that his ginormous crush on Dr. di Angelo was anything but inappropriate, but he couldn’t help it. And he’d really stopped to care. Nico was cute. He was a bit dorky and they probably would’ve never met if Jason’s former doctor hadn’t retired early. Jason thanked that man every time when the door to his tiny room with its eggshell-white walls and its stale air opened and Nico shook his head at him fondly. He really should stop calling him ‘Nico’ in his head though, because no matter what Leo said, Dr. di Angelo wasn’t his _friend_. Their relationship was merely professional.

He fell back against his cushions, sighing when the action caused his beanie to slip over his eyes slightly. Today was boring. Really, really boring and the stupid TV didn’t help and his lunch didn’t look all that appealing either. He groaned, pulling his beanie all the way down over his eyes. Jason was ignoring his promise to Nico to eat that stuff again, but Nico hadn’t been here today either, so there. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t hungry anyway.

Blinking against the fuzzy wool felt stupid, so he stopped. He really wished _someone_ would come to visit, he didn’t even care who. He wouldn’t even be against doing homework or studying, no matter how much he had hated to when he’d still been at school.

His chest still hurt from the last coughing fit, but the nurses wouldn’t get him something other than that horrible chamomile tea. Hospitals really were the worst. They were boring and ugly and tasteless in more than one way.

The soft knock on his door made Jason pull the cap off his eyes, his heart beat accelerating in anticipation. He knew that knock. There was only one person who would knock like that. Jason sat up eagerly. He opened his dry mouth to respond, but only coughed and had to start again. “Come in,” he finally rasped out, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing his cheeks.

Nico let himself in, ever polite and waiting for Jason to answer his knock before intruding. It never failed to make Jason’s heart skip a beat when he finally saw that smile.

“Hey, Jason. How are you feeling today?”

He grinned in response, ignoring the warm feeling in his stomach. His face was likely as red as it felt, but he didn’t care. “Do you really have to ask that every time?”

Nico pushed one of the chairs from the table to Jason’s bed, his smile faltering only a moment when he saw that Jason hadn’t touched his food, but Jason still felt guilty. He _had_ promised Nico to try at least, but neither said anything about it this time. Nico sat down by his side, sliding a clipboard on the table next to the bed and leaned back. “Well, I can always ask how you’re _not_ feeling.”

“As if that would change anything.”

Nico raised an eyebrow. “What should I ask you then?”

Jason felt daring. It really wasn’t appropriate and hopeless, but Nico was the one thing that made staying at the hospital bearable. And Jason really would’ve loved to meet him outside. “You could always ask me on a date.”

Both of them were silent, the TV and the beeping machines around them providing the only sounds in the eggshell-white room. Both of them knew the answer already, so Nico didn’t bother with an response. It wasn’t the first time Jason had asked.

“Why do you watch that?”

He could hear the disgust in Nico’s voice and laughed. “Because it’s afternoon and afternoon-TV is horrible no matter what channel?”

“You should get more DVDs.”

“Bring me some?”

Jason grinned brightly. This was nice, easy and nice and he liked it. Nico seemed to think so too, biting his lip to stop from laughing, his face red and warm in the afternoon sun. “Maybe I will.” He finally met Jason’s eyes and not looking away. “Ever seen ‘The Shining’?”

“I’ve seen ‘Zombie Land’.”

Nico laughed and Jason laughed and he didn’t cough and that totally counted as a win in his book. “What? It’s a classic, it’s funny!”

“Not every movie has to be funny.”

“I like funny movies,” Jason told him, grabbing the remote and switching through channels again. He could still feel Nico’s gaze on him, and he was sure he’d blush even more if it were physically possible.

“I’m gonna ask my niece to lend you some of her Disney movies.”

“Are you gonna watch them with me?”

Nico was still watching him fondly, he was sure of that. Just as sure as he was about his answer. He wouldn’t get one to this question either.

Nico leaned forward, taking the remote from him, their hands touching for a moment that felt too long and not long enough at once. He turned the TV off, making Jason look at him again, his eyes filled with that tiny spark of hesitation Jason hated. Nico always held back; he’d told Jason so much, much more than he probably told his colleagues, still, he held back when it came to them. Their relationship. That inappropriate elephant in the room neither of them should acknowledge. But Jason did. He really liked his doctor and he knew it wasn’t just because he was dependant on him here at the hospital. And although Nico held back, told him everything but what Jason wanted to hear, … it was pretty obvious.

“I felt it again,” Nico said instead.

“Did you win?” Jason knew the answer to that question, as he knew the answers to many questions concerning Nico di Angelo. He still asked them.

The doctor shook his head and Jason braced himself on the mattress, leaning over and reaching for Nico’s shoulder with his free hand. He didn’t hesitate to touch him, but he gave Nico time to avoid his hand.

“She died. She had a daughter and she asked me about her. I couldn’t tell her anything though.”

“Why don’t you look into it then?” Jason rubbed his thumb over the small patch of skin on Nico’s throat he could reach.

“I did.” Nico’s gaze was intense, pinning him in place and Jason stilled. “She was hurt too, taken here with her mother. She asked me whether she would die.”

It shouldn’t have made Jason’s stomach curl, but he knew about Nico’s feelings, and he believed him. The girl had asked and Nico had felt her dying. Jason wouldn’t be able to do it, wouldn’t be able to answer that question if he knew the definite outcome like Nico did. But he wouldn’t be able to fight that knowledge either, and it just made Nico so much more precious, so much stronger to have an ability like that and still trying to fight fate, trying and never succeeding for years. Nico was strong and Jason fell in love a little more every time it showed.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, squeezing Nico’s shoulder encouragingly but not saying anything. He wanted Nico to be happy with his whole heart, wanted him to keep that fierce hope to not know when a person was dying one day. Nico hated lying, he never lied when a patient asked him if they were dying. Jason would never do that to Nico, he would never ask him that question.   
They both knew the answer anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it <3  
> Feel free to comment and/or criticize!


End file.
